10 things...

Yesterday a new kidmin friend - Amy Dolan - posted over on her blog with 10 things you should never say to someone who is struggling to get pregnant.  We had commiserated through email earlier in the week about all kinds of things we've had people to say to us.  Be sure to check out Amy's blog to read her list - very practical for sure. 


I compiled a list of my top 10 things I've either heard personally or heard of someone saying to a friend, so I thought I would share them here.  

1. So when you are going to have kids? You’ve been married for _____ so shouldn’t it be about time? 
2. Just adopt, then you’ll get pregnant right away – it happened to my _______ (sister, neighbor, cousin’s ex’s best friend’s hair dresser).
3. You’re lucky – at least you haven’t lost a baby.
4. You can just have one of my kids.
5. My husband can just look at me and we get pregnant.
6. If you just relax and stop trying so hard it will happen.
7. Guess what!  We’re pregnant by accident....again!
8. Do you know who’s fault it is – yours or your husband’s?
9. You’re young, it will happen.
10. You just need to have more s.ex.  

Some of these just make me laugh in hindsight, some not so much.  I completely understand that it's difficult to know what to say to someone in this situation, but I would definitely not recommend using any of these.  Much better choices would be: 

1. I'm so sorry you're going through this.  
2. I can't imagine how difficult this must be.  
3. I will be praying for you.  Is there something specific I can pray for? 

On a funny side note - I just got a call from Brady, our teaching pastor, telling me that I'm apparently famous now.  His wife follows Shauna Niequist (Bill Hybel's daughter) on twitter and had clicked on a post she had about Amy's blog.  She's reading along, and all of the sudden sees my name and links to my twitter and blog.  Totally threw her for a loop, thus the phone call and sudden fame...at least with Becca and Brady.