Excuses, Excuses

Oops! So it's been 5 months and 6 days since I last posted - not that I counted or anything.  I hope none of you are too disappointed that you haven't been able to keep up with our life or my cooking escapades.  I promise you you haven't missed out on too much while I've been gone.  I actually never intended to take this long of a break from blogging, but somehow the days turn to weeks, and the weeks turn to months, and well, here we are.  I will say that in these last 5 months, I've crafted many-a-blog post in my head, but somehow none of them have made it on to paper the blog.

So instead of giving you excuses like...

• we've been busy 
• we haven't been doing anything worth blogging about
• I've had major writer's block
• summer was insane with big kidmin events like Explosion, camp, etc
• a vacation to Vegas the week after camp was much needed and incredibly relaxing
• preparing for "welcome back Sunday" was intense and life consuming for days/weeks/months on end as I prepared to relaunch our children's ministry this past weekend
• etc
• etc
• etc

Instead of all that, I'll just say this:  Life is full, and I am thankful for that.  

In this time away, I've also made a big decision.  It won't really have life-altering consequences, but it does impact me and our story.  If you know us in real life, the husband and I strive to be honest and vulnerable and intentional in our relationships.  Yes, this can be painful at times, but it can also be incredibly life-giving to us and hopefully to others.  

All that to say, I want to be honest and vulnerable and intentional in my blogging too.  And that means sharing our struggles as well as our blessings.  So, honestly, another huge reason (i.e. excuse) for the lack of blogging is that we've been staring a big, hairy monster in the face for the last 10 months, and in actuality feeling its effects for at least the last 18 months.  Infertility.  

We've been through medicines that make me crazy, waiting, changing doctors, waiting, medicines that make me sick all the time, waiting, medicines that haven't done anything, waiting, doctor's appointments every 2-3 weeks, waiting.  Infertility can consume you if you allow it to, and there have been many days that has begun to happen, but thankfully we have such supportive friends and family, along with our faith that God can do all things, and that truly has been and continues to be sustaining for us.  This journey is not over, but we know that one day we'll look back and these long days of waiting will seem like milliseconds.  

So why do I share all of this?  It's not something I want keep a secret.  It's part of the story God is telling through our lives, and even though I don't know it's purpose yet, I think it is incredibly important to share this chapter of our lives with others.  I heard somewhere that infertility can be one of the loneliest health challenges, and I completely believe that to be true.  So my hope here is really two-fold: 1. that sharing this allows us to be vulnerable and honest with our friends who may read this, and 2. that someone else who may be struggling with infertility may find a resource, an encourager, and may not feel quite so alone in this journey to parenthood.